I'm still...

When I close my eyes I think of you

And the time we have had been through

Even though we’re far apart right now
I remember back when you were here with me

How you’re make my world complete

But now I’m left alone

We talked about love and hope

Wishing we could start a life our own

I wish that I could live without you

Why did you tear my heart apart

You said you’ll love me from the start

All those painful things you have put me through

But I’m still loving you

I’ve tried to give my best to you

I don’t deserve the things you do

Everything has gone to memories

Why did you tear my heart apart

You said you’ll love me from the start

All those painful things you’ve put me through

But I’m still loving you

I’ve tried to give my best to you

I don’t deserve the things you do

Everything has gone to memories

no..

不是已经放下了吗 明明已经很确定 很明白我们是不可能的了

为什么忽然又会心痛 为什么忽然回忆起以前

很讨厌这样的自己

明明是自己开口的 最后 却也是第一次拼命的挽留

挽留后决定了放手 却又重蹈覆辙

无论是想起你 还是我们去过的地方

你生活的地方 我们所经历过的事情

都会让我忍不住回头望

你却早已不在了

曾经很抗拒踏足你以前或现在生活的地方

但到我觉得自己痊愈了之后

想说是时候克服心理的恐惧

却发觉那还是一个阴影

他让我知道他走了之后还有像你那么好的人

不介意我的过去 并很好的对待我 疼我

愿意给我依靠 也让我慢慢放下以前

但是

你却也是那个

让我醒来

知道真的再好的人也会变

对我再好 再疼我的人

最后还是会离开我

No boundaries, is past away.

" Don't know where the future's heading

Nothing's gonna bring me down"

Do you remember this?

The words that you wrote on your msn status

before I'm your girl

but everything start to change

not your fault actually

Now I only realized that I don't know how to be a girlfriend

who will always think about you

such a failure

I'm not blaming you

I'm not looking back

I'm not begging you to go back

IT CHANGED

I knew that

I will never ever return to our previous relationship

same as you

I finally realized that we are not suitable for both of us

that was the best method for us 

Although you used to try hard on our relationship with those word from "No Boundaries"

but those are all nonsense for you now...

I wish you could find your dream girl and really suit you :)

Learning to get out from the past.

I love my live now
The live which is coming after the break of us

I realized that I'm not only can't live without you

and you are not the only reason that make me feel sad

Besides you

My family, my pet, and my only beloved him

Are the reasons give me the motivation to go ahead

without you
I always look back

but

what the difference is

I couldn't only see your shadow, your promises

and also him

You let me achieve more by leaving me

but it's okay, I'm fine :)

My world isn't just surrounded by you

we could look back

but we must learn something each time to make it more valuable

for our unpredictable future

and also enrich our past

I could envy the people who are in a relationship

the girl who have a qualified boyfriend to take good care for them

yet I have something more important to accomplish

I choose to be single

It's a great chance for me to take a rest

get out from the previous relationship

and finally

get in to my new live :)

I used to not upload these types of photo

but now

I just wanna ask: why not?

I don't care what they say

I just remember what you said to me

you hope I can be more girlish

a girl who knows to "decorate" herself

I'm trying

but you know

and have you ever think that

after I changing to a real girl

will I still love you?

choose what you like, and like what you choose

Be stronger :D

You think you got the best of me

Think you had the last laugh

Bet you think that everything good is gone

Think you left me broken down

Think that I'd come running back

You don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

STAND A LITTLE TALLER

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footstep even LIGHTER

I'm happy than before
I hope you are same as me
Even though we are the past tense now

And you were really take care of me :)

But at the last

.

.

.

Our love had gone slowly

But it wasn't your fault
sorry for disturbing you and not willing to letting you go

You hear that I was starting over with someone new

They told you I was moving on over you

You didn't think that I'd come back, I'd come back swinging

but

I'm better than BEFORE :)

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not my broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me
My heart is finally recovered by the timemy mind, too

In the end the day you left was just my beginning
And that is your new live, too 

The Long Distance Relationship.

" I regret that I could only do so many

I want you to move on

I would like you to bring joy upon others

As you have brought upon me

I love you 

And know that I will always

Always will "

These might be the words that you wanted to tell me yet you couldn't

I'm fine here, my family, too

Just live in my heart as before all of that happened

You are always the reason for me to move on as I am frustrated

Thinking and looking back isn't always the bad stuff

It could be the chance that we would meet 

Please forgive what I have done to you 

It will always be the exhortation for me that I didn't listen to yours and also didn't keep our promises

For me, it's just a playful and absurd life trough, this is the worst, wrong decision that I have made on us ever

You are staying with me since you leave silently away from me that day

You might know all of the stuff that happened on me

But I can't see you, even touch you

I will never ever have this chance to feel you

Sometimes, I can look back and smile with you

Feeling that you are still being with me :)

Everyday, every moment

Although it was 1984 days past

You are always the best for me and live in my heart, forever

Jun Sung Ahn

这个正是我的Dream man :D

有令我敬佩的一面,又有我不可能学会的才华 -.-

最重要是很帅,又是韩国人!流口水了 XD

他这个短片非常的激励我

可能因为歌曲吧

看着他那么认真的演奏

心情真的很好很好 <3

每一天都非常开心

有想要飞的感觉 :D

他很帅吧？很man对不对？:D

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!!!!! <3

I can change!!! :D

现在接近final了 人也变得超忙 

几乎严重失眠 超级情绪化 暴饮暴食又或是不吃不喝

但至少我现在的每一天都过得非常的充实

而且过得有意义 :D

不再像以前那样 时常郁郁寡欢 :(

现在的我虽然忙 虽然我的严重失眠会带给我很大的熊猫眼

但我却喜欢现在的日子

因为我的世界不再因爱情而变得窄小

而是变得越来越宽阔

我的世界不再只是小沙粒 而是海阔天空! :D

我要自己背着背包出去看世界 大力拥抱天与地的能量 大力呼吸外面世界的空气

我现在的每一天里 都会有新的事情发生 那都是让我充电的事情

而且一天比一天发觉其实有很多人都很疼爱我

这些所有所有开心的事都是可以令我向前的动力

原来放开一个不属于自己的人，一段辛苦的恋情

不再为一个人忧心 是可以带来无比宽阔的天空，大地与海洋

我的心情也因此而有所改变

并且有着前所未有的开心，安心和安然的每一天 :)

Ushh!!! New Life :D

一直背负着以前的回忆过日子实在太辛苦

唯一能让我愿意背负这一辈子的人只有他

谢谢你陪伴着我的这一年多的时间 你让我从中释怀不少 也让我学习了很多

尤其是让我学习怎么放开你 你让我真正明白到原来我们一直都不适合

无论你那时是多么的想占有我心里所有的位置

我也不知道原来我们一直都是对方的负担和背负

你说的对 我们分开了五个月多 是时候有各自的生活

对 原来我们打从2011年头时 已经开始闹分歧了

慢慢地回想起 并不是你的错 就完全纯粹是因为不适合

不适合的话 无论多么的努力去改变 到最后结果还是一样的

上了大学后才发觉原来我的生活里面 你早已不再参与在内了 我也一样

我的死缠烂打 真的很抱歉 我只想尽我所能去挽留

你最后一次的答案 是我听过你所说过的话里 最能令我安心的话 

因为你让我知道事实 也让我顿时觉悟

原来我们都是彼此的阻碍物 让彼此闷闷不乐甚至厌烦

我自己可能都不知道 我拼命挽留的原因是什么 

我自己也不知道 或许其实我已经不爱你了

挽留就只因为不舍得

我们曾经很开心过 曾经计划过什么 但那已经是过去了

放下了 完全没有以前责怪你 生气你的感觉

反而对你感觉很抱歉

我现在的每一天比之前过得开心 充实 因为我发觉还有更重要的事情等着我去做

家人学业梦想还有我的蜕变计划

以前我真的不会打扮 可能真的让你带我出街时有那么一点点的失礼

对不起 -.-

现在我要重新认识自己 并为我自己好好打扮

我希望我们还会是朋友 是时候让真正的我跟你重新做朋友了

不再是以女朋友的身份去见面 而是开朗的我 : )

你要好好的生活哦 祝福你 真心的 : )

希望你能感觉到我的真心祝福! 

“最近你过得好吗？”

这样简单的一句问候我却不敢说出口...

没有我的日子你过得还好吗？

就连只是朋友,我都不敢找你 

就怕你会再对我说:"你令到我很想避开你,你很可怕"....

你对我说过的所有话,我都挥之不去....

你给我的感觉,就是高高在上,我不敢去接近,更不敢去碰触...

就像碰触一朵玫瑰时,你的手会被刺伤而流血...

我们的爱情,一开始不是一句我喜欢你,就可以开始...

我们经历的,你还记得吗..

到结束时,也不是一句道歉就能结束....

因为我们都伤得对方太深了...

我复原的时间也许会很漫长,但我希望你能尽快忘记我们的一切...

也希望以后某一天我没事了,我们联络了,我听到的会是...

“我要结婚了,这是我的未婚妻”......

刚看了你的照片,知道你没有了我过的真的很开心....

那就好了...

我真的很羡慕可以跟你一起的朋友...

但是看到时...心里总会很痛........

2011.08.07 the day you push me away...

这天可能是让你讨厌我的一天,我的挽留只会令你想避开我,怕我...

但为什么你挽留的时候我却可以有被你的挽留所感动...？

我们一直以来辛苦经营的感情,难道真的敌不过你所谓的原则吗..

我们的感情对你来说到底是什么...

而我对你来说又是什么....?

为什么总是可以说放就放...

你的原则...

你就不怕以后某一天你会因为这个原则而后悔放弃我们的一丝希望吗..?

我尽我一切能力去挽回就是因为我害怕以后我会后悔...

你可能没想过吧...但我也很明了你为何要设下这个原则...

我不怪你...或许你真的放开了...

你问我为什么不成全你,只因为我爱你...

但一切都太迟了是吗...

现在的你只想我放手让你走...

那你走吧,真的.我放开你...

但,如果某一天你后悔了...我希望你能回头望一下...

我一直都在你身后等你回头牵我手...

最后,我想问你一句...

和我在一起,你想起的就只会令你伤心难受吗...?

我们曾经的开心呢？你想起的时候连我们的开心都是伤心的吗..?

July 18,2011

这个blog记录了最初的我们,也记录了最后的我们...

还记得我之前的一篇文章"Someone call B"吗？

想不到一年半后的我们,变成了彼此很熟悉,但却不相认的人...

为什么我的每一段恋情都会有缺陷,有遗憾...?

当初我们都是因为有共识,都是因为想好好的拥有一段恋情...

但为什么...

你或许早已想尽办法让我主动提出...我不知道...

我很希望你不是...但为什么你好像能把我们的一切,一次过清除...

还记得这些吗..?

对于你来说,或许一切都过去了...
我知道

你不会再留恋,不会再想起,更不会再回头...

但我...兜兜转转,还是回到我们原来的出发点...

记得 ♥

♥

  谁还记得是谁先说 永远的爱我

  以前的一句话是我们 以后的伤口

  过了太久没人记得 当初那些温柔

  我和你手牵手说要一起 走到最后

  我们都忘了 这条路走了多久

  心中是清楚的 有一天都会停的

  让时间说真话 虽然我也害怕

  在天黑了以后 我们都不知道 会不会有以后

   

   我们都累了 却没办法往回走

  两颗心都迷惑 怎么说 怎么说都没有救

  亲爱的为什么 也许你也不懂

  两个相爱的人 等着对方先说 想分开的理由

  谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候

  我和你的眼中看见了 不同的天空

  走得太远终于走到 分岔路的路口

  是不是你和我 要有两个 相反的梦

   

♥